We all have a little storyteller in our minds, like a freaking running commentary on every minute of our life. Every. Little. Second. Like, you needed to have this, right? Imagine if you had some dude following you around, night and day, commenting on every little thing you did, said, thought, acted on, didn’t act on, didn’t say, wore, didn’t wear, didn’t say. Could you even, WOULD you even tolerate THAT? (If you’ve ever had a 2 year old, you know what I mean. But they’re 2. So they’re cute. And they’re your baby. So you deal with it knowing it won’t always be like this, they’re only 2, and this is normal.) Of course you wouldn’t tolerate that – that’s blatantly abusive. Then why are you tolerating it in your head?
That dude is renting space for FREE in your head. This dude is NOT real, is NOT cute, and it will always be like this….IF you don’t get conscious to it and kick the dude out of your space.
All kidding aside, this is painful sh*t. The amount of pain you experience is directly correlated to your family of origin, and the experiences you had growing up. If you were lucky enough to have a healthy, functional, loving family who operated in consciousness ALL the time (science fiction, anyone?), your stories will likely be kinder. But, if you’re like the rest of us, there was some (or a lot) of dysfunction, violations, traumas, passive aggression, or even abuse in your early days, and your voice has become hostile and violent towards you. That dude is not a dude at all – its a viper, a victimizer, a nasty entity that you will be much better off without.
So why do we not just know this, and rectify that situation immediately? Because most people are unconscious. They don’t realize that voice is there, or if they do realize that voice is storytelling them to death they don’t know where to start. Because, well….what if that dude is right? What if we are all of those bad things? Maybe we deserve that poor treatment. That’s just more of the stories this vampire in your head is telling you. It gets to be a complicated mess up there sometimes, you’re in a labyrinth, and you become overwhelmed, anxious, sad, depressed, or even angry – but don’t see the cause creating the effect. So let’s break it down a bit.
You can change your inner architecture. All it takes is a choice to LET GO of those stories.
“Just Let GO!” Sure that sounds easy, right? Problem is, we cannot let go of what we cannot see. These stories are operating in your head in the dark, in the unconscious. When you become conscious and stay in your body, you bring these stories into the light. These stories simply cannot live in the light. In fact, in my experience I have found myself laughing out loud, deep belly laughs, all by myself, and how hilarious these stories are. They are SO NOT TRUE, but I rented that dude space in my head for free. No, actually it COST me.
Letting Go is not a “How do I?” Statement. Letting Go is an “I AM” statement. I am conscious. I am aware. I am choosing to see my stories. I am beautiful exactly the way I am (Guess what, everyone else is, too). I am whole, even if I’m alone. I am a child of God. Your own I AM is whatever you want it to be – so make it a good one.
The funny thing with letting go of these negative stories, is that it feels so complex, and it actually comes down to a simple choice that YOU and only you can make. When I was in that process, here’s what I did:
- I carried a notebook with me everywhere. I put the date at the top. Every time I noticed anxiety, stress, overwhelm, or fear I wrote it down, and jotted down where I felt it in my body.
- I wrote down any story I told myself, too. They really are ridiculous when you see them in black and white (or purple in my case, because that’s how I roll).
- I breathed into the area of my body where I felt the physical response to the story. Heart? Solar Plexus? Breathing deeply and intentionally, consciously sending love and light to that area for a few minutes will really bring that physical response down. This starts to break the neurochemically programmed response that you developed over your life.
- With the physical response calmed down, I would re-read my entry and see my story in a whole new light.
- Following day in meditation, I would write down my intentions to clear my body of the thoughts and feelings, one at a time.
- Rinse and Repeat.
This isn’t for the faint of heart, my friends. This takes commitment, tenacity, and conscious intentions to do better, be better. But lemme tell ya – life on the other side of that storytelling dude is SO much better. Its actually fun now. I’m human – I can get triggered, but I rarely relapse anymore. When I find that, I do my deep breathing exercises such as the Zen Snake, and move that energy right through my body.
Consiousness Rocks.
